We Belong Together
by chikahchik
Summary: Eriol regrets ever letting Syaoran go. Eriol.x.Syaoran


**NOTE: **I wrote this a while back, while listening to Mariah Carey's _We Belong Together_. I'm not quite as happy about it now as when I first wrote it, and I've made some changes on it to try and fix it up, but...READ AND REVIEW to let me know what you think.**  
DISCLAIMER: **characters are not mine**  
WARNING: **shounen-ai, boy/boy, slash**  
PAIRING: **Hiiragizawa Eriol / Li Syaoran**  
SUMMARY: **Eriol regrets ever letting Syaoran go.

. . . . . .

**WE BELONG TOGETHER**

I had done it. Despite what I felt, I had done it. And honestly, no matter how much time had passed, it still hurt like hell! I had lost my love, my life, my…_everything_. I was so stupid! Letting duties and expectations get between us. I wish I could take back that day when I told him that I felt _nothing_—absolutely _nothing_. Why, oh, why did I say that! Why did I care about what people expected of us! Why didn't I just listen to my now-still-breaking heart?

I closed my eyes as my thoughts drifted back to that day; that _day_ when I, Hiiragizawa Eriol, lost my one true love, Li Syaoran. It had begun as a regular day. The sun was out and shining, the flowers were in full bloom and the Sakura Trees were making the environment look cheery and peaceful. I was standing outside, in the garden that came with my mansion in Japan, waiting for my beloved. Random things were going through my head, but one main topic kept on popping up: _the future_.

Of course, I had planned to spend my future with him; but knowing his background, I knew that it couldn't be. And my intuition was confirmed once Syaoran had arrived. He came up behind me, but didn't touch me. _That _action, in itself, was a bad omen already. I had heard him take a deep breath before he began speaking. "Eriol…" he whispered.

I never bothered to turn and look at him. "Xiao-Lang…" I responded in the same quiet tone.

"A letter from my mother arrived today…she said I—that I…" his voice faltered.

"You have to return to Hong Kong?"

"I don't want to go, Eriol! They can't force me to go! Nothing they can do or say will change my mind."

"You _have_ to return, Xiao-Lang. You have to fulfill your duties; it is expected of you to take your place as the leader of the Li Clan."

He growled. "Screw the clan! I want to stay with you—they can't take me away from _you_!"

"You can't be with me. You have to produce heirs and continue the line…" I felt something getting caught in my throat. I had known for a long time that this day was coming, and I'd decided long before this conversation that I would have to end our relationship. It was for his own good. I expected it to hurt—but I never expected the pain to be excruciating.

His breathing became uneven. He was confused and angry. I hated to do this to him, but I _had _to. "What are you saying!" he demanded.

"We can't be together, Li-san." I returned to formalities—something we hadn't been doing for quite some time now…a _year_, to be exact.

"What do you mean: _we can't be together_? And why are you calling me by my surname?" he was growing agitated. I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Eriol…?"

I shrugged off his hand. "Let's end it, Li-san. Go back to China. This…_thing_…was fun while it lasted, but it cannot—_must not_—go on."

He took a step and tightly wrapped his arms around my waist; I didn't bother to break free from his embrace. It might be the last time I ever feel his warmth surrounding me. Syaoran buried his head between my shoulder blades (since I was slightly taller that him) and took a deep breath. "Call me by my given name! And yes it _can_! We love each other! We can make it! As long as we've got each other, nothing can get between us, right?" at my silence, he continued: "You love me, don't you, Eriol?"

I released a sigh. _Of course I did!_ I wanted to scream out, but that wouldn't help the situation—and it would be too selfish of me. I must let him go so he can make his family proud. I held my breath as I softly replied: "No."

His grip around me faltered. "You don't mean that…do you? T-that's not true!"

"I'm sorry, Li-san…but it _is_."

"…Eriol…"

"There's nothing left for you here, Li-san. Go home. Goodbye."

His arms had totally disappeared now. He was still there, but he was no longer near me. I suspect he had backed up to the door that led inside the house.

"So that's it? This whole relationship was a lie?" his voice was bitter. "I meant nothing to you? Not even a little bit?"

"You meant nothing."

"So for a whole year, you only pretended to care about me? Tell me!" he shouted.

All my lies were piercing through my heart. I had to summon up all my will-power to prevent me from turning around and throwing myself at him, telling him that I was sorry and I never meant anything I said. "Yes. It was all pretend—an act. You were all broken up over Sakura-san, so I figured that you needed somebody with you. When you told me how you felt, I didn't have the heart to tell you that I never felt the same. I didn't want a repeat of what happened with Sakura-san…"

That was true. He was first to tell me how he felt about me. Of course, I had loved him long before that moment—which was the reason that I had comforted him and stayed by his side when things hadn't worked out with his now ex-girlfriend, Kinomoto Sakura. She has been our friend since grade school; and when Syaoran and I had gotten together, she, along with her best friend, and now-girlfriend, Daidouji Tomoyo, was the first one to know about it. They were very supportive and wished us all the best.

It was silent between Syaoran and me for a long period of time. I was convinced that he had already left, but just as I was planning on turning around and returning inside, he cleared his throat. "So that's that…how could have I been so stupid! Thinking you loved me too…why did you lead me on for so long!"

"Stop asking questions Li-san. Anymore answers I give you will only cause you more pain and resentment."

"I'm sure I can manage. You've already ripped out my heart and stomped on it enough. What else could possibly hurt me now?"

I couldn't provide him anymore answers. I was running out of lies and excuses; and my will-power was slowly giving away. If he doesn't leave soon, he will never be able to take on his role as the head of the Li Clan. If he stays any longer, my strength would soon vanish and I would end up confessing everything to him and ask him to stay with me forever. That could _not_ happen. He needed to go back to Hong Kong and do what he was destined to do. His future is to lead the clan. I wasn't part of the picture. To be the leader, he would need to form a family; he cannot gain that whilst I'm still in his life. This was the _best_ thing to do, I'm sure.

"Just leave, Li-san," I told him coldly. I didn't want him to see that tears were forming around my eyes. I didn't want him to witness me collapse and sob non-stop. That wouldn't be good. Finally, after a couple more minutes, he finally decided to walk out of my life without a word.

As I opened my eyes again, I was back in the present time. But the final vision in my head was me crying all night after I ended the relationship. I wonder how he's doing now…it has been two years since that day. I wonder if he's found another…we are eighteen years of age now—it would be the ideal age for the leader of the Li Clan to marry. But after all this time, I hadn't heard of any news about an engagement. Sakura never told me anything, the last time I had talked to her. She and Tomoyo both worried about me—and _him_. They both had thought that Syaoran and I would stay together forever; but once I told them about the break up, they were devastated. I explained my reasons to them and they understood. They stayed by my side at a time when I was most vulnerable.

The two girls kept close contact with Syaoran. Just because he and I were no longer together, it didn't mean that our friendships should break apart as well. But, I knew that the two girls were careful about mentioning anything about me around him. He was still sensitive about topics in which I was concerned.

"Eriol-kun, you should really just fly to Hong Kong and win him back!" Sakura demanded over the phone. She was all the way in Japan while I was here in England. I had returned a year after Syaoran's departure.

I sighed into the line and reminisced about all the times that Syaoran and I talked on the phone for God only knows how long. We would start early in the evening, then when we would gaze out of our windows, the sun was slowly coming out. "It's too late now, Sakura-san. He hates me. If he sees me on his property, he would probably kill me on the spot," I told her softly, bitterness lacing my voice.

"True…but if you explain, I'm sure-,"

"It won't work now. I doubt he'd listen to anything I have to say…"

The girl growled on the other end of the line. "It's worth a try! If it's still affecting you after two years, I'm sure it's the same for him! You know that Syaoran-kun's not one to let go of things so easily."

"And what if he's found someone new?"

"So? Just clear things out with him. Explain why you had done what did in the past and tell him that you're not hoping for anything now. You just wanted him to know. It's only fair for him to know the truth."

"I don't want to confuse him! It wouldn't be good to show up after two years and tell him all sorts of things—even if it _was_ the right thing to do."

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down before she lost her patience with me. "Trust me, it will all work out for the best. Besides, I have a feeling that Syaoran hasn't found anyone new. I mean, come on, who could ever replace you?"

"…but…"

"No '_buts_'!"

Truly, I don't know how Sakura did it, but somehow, she had convinced me to pack my bags, buy plane tickets and fly to Hong Kong. And that was where I was right now. I looked around as I stood in the crowded Hong Kong airport. I still don't know what I was doing here…I shook my head and headed out to catch a cab. I paid the driver to bring me to a prestige hotel (I hadn't booked it! Akizuki Nakuru did. She's my guardian, and to her, I deserved _only_ the best).

My room was amazing. It was on the 12th floor (high, I know; but height isn't one of my fears, so it was alright) and had a nice view of the waterfront. I let myself fall on the soft mattress of the king-sized bed in the middle of the room as I tried to figure out what to do first. My first priority was Syaoran. I knew where he lived; Sakura had provided me with the address when I told her that I was going. But honestly, I really just couldn't show up in his doorstep and say: "Xiao-Lang, I'm sorry for the things I had said two years ago. I never meant a word of them. I still love you, but it doesn't matter if you've found someone new. I'm not expecting anything." I had a slight feeling that _that_ would not go over too well.

Firstly, I had to think about _what_ I needed to say to him. I had to clear up what happened two years ago…but how do I word my explanation. Nothing sounded good enough! I closed my eyes and meditated; but nothing would come to mind. This was hopeless!

"Just say what you feel. Listen to your heart," Tomoyo advised when I had phoned her up that evening. My frustrations had gotten the best of me and I couldn't take it anymore, I _had_ to talk to someone. Sakura was out with her family, so I couldn't get a hold of her—and normally, at times like these, I had depended on Syaoran to help me through my problems…but that was no longer an option. Tomoyo was one of my close friends, so I knew that she'd be there to help me get through this problem.

"Me? Listen to my heart? Tomoyo, if I did that, then Xiao-Lang and I wouldn't be in this predicament at all!" I hollered through the phone.

"That's true…but you _were_ doing something that you thought was right, so in a way, you were listening to your heart."

"No, I was _thinking_! I paid attention to my brain instead of my heart. If I had listened to my heart, Syaoran and I wouldn't be here right now."

She sighed. "I don't know…I wish I could be there to help you talk to Li-kun…"

"It's okay, Tomoyo-san. I'm just so afraid to face him, that's all. I won't be able to stand the pure loathing in his eyes when he looks my way."

"You can't be too sure about him looking at you with hatred."

"Trust me, his glares are bound to be there."

The next day, I left my hotel room and wandered the streets of Hong Kong. My talk with Tomoyo had calmed me down, but not enough to completely allow the fear of seeing Syaoran, subside. But, I knew that I couldn't avoid him forever. That was why I was here in Hong Kong. Even though I may not have a chance with him anymore, it would still be good for the both of us to have everything out in the open. It's been decided then, I'll talk to him today. The sooner I get it over with, the better.

My feet led me to his place. I took in the sight before me. Wow! He owned a very beautiful home; it was very elegant indeed. Sakura told me how big and wonderful it was, but I hadn't expected it to be this grand. Compared to this, my mansions in both Japan and England didn't stand a chance. I shook my head and prepared for the reunion that was soon to take place. I took a deep breath and buzzed on the doorbell by the gates outside.

"Yes? How may we help you, sir?" a monotone voice boomed through the tiny speaker.

I gulped and replied a bit shakily: "I-I would like…to see…Li Xiao-Lang."

The person took a while before replying again; I could hear faint voices in the background. "Okay. The master has agreed to let you in. But first, state your name and business here."

_The master!_ Syaoran was there, listening to all this? Why was he with the guard anyway? Oh! Oops, the guard told me to tell him my name and why I was here. Crap! Syaoran might change his mind about letting me in once I've revealed who I was…whatever. I'll just get this over with. "Hiiragizawa Eriol. I…I would just like to visit."

A long pause. This was it! The guard was going to tell me to back away now…I should've known. Syaoran really resents me. A long, deep sigh escaped my lips. Then, just as I was about to turn away, I heard the metal gates slowly swinging open. _What?_ Syaoran was still allowing me in his home? I quickly recovered from my surprise and walked through the gates. I nervously trekked down the driveway to the front door. When I had arrived, the door was already opened; there was a figure standing there. It was Syaoran.

"What are you doing here, Hiiragizawa?" he inquired coolly as I came near.

"As I've said, just a visit," I responded indifferently, despite the turmoil that I felt inside.

"I see…" he was about to say something more, but four high pitched voices interrupted us. They were screaming out his name. I couldn't see who they were, but soon, a figure emerged and peeked out from behind Syaoran.

She had a light smile on her face, but it grew wider at the sight of me. "My, my, Xiao-Lang, who is _this_? He is very handsome."

I felt my cheeks grow warm at the compliment, but soon, my world came crashing down when I heard Syaoran's reply. "He's _nobody_, Feimei. Go away."

"Little brother, be nice!" another figure appeared behind Syaoran and the one he referred to as _Feimei_. I've heard that name before…I dug through the back of my brain to figure out why her name sounded familiar; then finally, I remembered! Syaoran had mentioned her while we were still together; she was his sister. I'm guessing that the newcomer was another one of his sisters; he had four in total, he had informed me. Their names were: _Fuutie_,_ Feimei_,_ Shiefa _and _Fanren_.

"Shiefa, Feimei! Would you please just leave us alone?" Syaoran snapped.

"Why don't you ask him inside? It's rude to keep a guest out on the porch, Xiao-Lang." another sister appeared behind Syaoran.

"He's not staying long, Fuutie," he told them all decisively.

"Did he say that?" Syaoran's final sister inquired from behind everybody.

"…N-no…" Syaoran replied quietly, his eyes downcast. But, as if lightning hit him, he quickly raised his head and said, "I'm taking him around town, Fanren. Tell mother I'll be back later."

With that, he stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind him. I heard him take a deep breath as he started walking. I had no choice but to follow him. We walked in silence for quite some time, but it was really an uncomfortable one and I wanted it broken. Alas, he wasn't about to make the move of talking first, so I had to strike up a conversation. "Are you afraid that I'd see something scary in your home, Li-san?" I asked him curiously. I meant for it to be jesting, but for some reason, I was incapable of sounding sarcastic.

He gave me a sideways glance as he contemplated on what to say. "No," he finally said.

"You can tell me the truth, you know."

"I just didn't want you inside my house, okay! Besides, if you were planning on visiting me, your efforts would've been in vain because my sisters would've been all over you if you had entered my home."

His words cut me like a knife, but I controlled my emotions and any signs of weakness. "I thought that you would've kicked me out—you know, when I told my name to the guard."

"I could've kicked you out before you introduced yourself. I saw you. There was a camera there."

"So then, why didn't you?"

"I don't know. I was curious as to what you were doing here…"

"I see…" I wanted to ask him what he was doing with the guard, but I figured that _that_ would've been a really stupid question. So instead, I just settled in saying: "How've you been doing?"

"Hm…I'm okay." he sounded distant. "I just finished training last month. They're holding a ceremony sometime this month or next month to honour me as the leader."

"That's good. Your family must be proud of you," I said distractedly.

"They'd be even more proud if I could find a wife…" he said bitterly. "I'm 18. Everyone keeps telling me to get married already, since I'm of age—and since I'm assuming the role of the leader."

"So then…why don't you find a wife? I'm sure it's not that difficult for someone like you…"

He growled. "You don't get it, do you!" I scowled at his sudden outburst, but before I could ask about it, he regained his composure. "I've met many girls that were suited to be my wife, but none of them caught my interest."

"I'm sure you'll find the right one sometime soon," I told him sadly.

He scoffed, "Doubt it."

The rest of our time together was spent by talking about trivial things. He took me to the marketplaces in Hong Kong and I bought a few souvenirs. When the day was almost over, I was disappointed that I didn't get to talk to him about what I had wanted to, but the fact that he spent a whole day with me without trying to kill me was a good consolation. When we had arrived back at his place, he asked me, "Are you sure you're going to be fine walking back on your own? It's getting late. Walking the streets of Hong Kong wouldn't be safe—especially if you're a tourist. You might get lost and end up in a bad part of town."

"I'll be okay." I tilted my head forward as a farewell to him, but as I was turning away, he called my name.

"Eriol—I mean, Hiiragizawa. Wait. Come with me; I'll drive you back to your hotel."

"Are you sure that won't be a bother?"

"It's fine. Come on, let's get my car."

The drive was silent. The only conversation—_if you can even call it that_—that occurred was him asking me where I was staying and me providing the answer. I looked out the window to keep me from staring at his profile. My mind once again drifted off to happier times—to the times when we were still together. But his voice shook me out of my reverie. "So…why _did_ you come?" he asked; but there was no hint of disdain in his voice, just pure curiosity.

It took me a while before I replied: "I…wanted to see you—and talk to you."

"Oh. So I guess now that you've done that, you're going to leave?"

"No. I haven't said all the things I wanted to."

"I see…we still have time before we reach your hotel. You can tell me those things now so you will be able to leave soon."

"Anxious to get me out of the country, huh?" I mumbled, my tone was laced with regret.

"No!" he said quickly. "I mean…I'm sure you don't want to stay here any longer. What could you possibly want in Hong Kong? Surely, you couldn't be here for me."

He sounded bitter and hurt. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch him. Apparently, that day was still fresh in his mind…he wasn't alone. That day always comes back to haunt me—either when I'm awake or sleeping. "Xiao-Lang…"

"Don't! You stopped using my given name that day. Please don't start that now," he pleaded.

"…but…"

"Stop toying with me, Hiiragizawa. I'm sure you made it all clear the day you let me go. You wanted nothing to do with me. That's why I'm a bit confused as to why you'd fly all the way over here just to _see me_. Why would you _want_ to see me? You never even felt anything for me. And don't tell me that was all a lie! I don't think I could handle it."

"…Xiao-Lang…"

"NO! Just don't! I don't want to hear it…"

I closed my mouth. He was still hurting. I wish I could comfort him…but I've lost the privilege to hold him tight a long time ago. It was my fault, I know. I take the blame for everything…I hurt him then, and I'm really sorry, but I was going to hurt him again, by telling him that I had deceived him two years ago. Once I opened my mouth again to speak, I felt the car stop. We were back at my hotel. I glanced at Syaoran one last time before I exited the car. He zoomed away as soon as I shut the door. I don't blame him. If I were in his place, I would've raced as far away from me as possible.

A few hours later, with tearstained cheeks and red, puffy eyes, my phone rang. I turned in my bed and faced the side table. _Who could be phoning me at this time?_ I picked up the receiver and greeted, "Hello?" I'm sure my voice sounded muffled and it would've been obvious that I was crying.

"Hiiragizawa?" it was Syaoran's voice on the other end of the line. My heart skipped a beat.

"Yes?"

"It's Li. I…I just wanted to say, sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to explode like that. I didn't meant to remind you of that day."

"It's quite alright, Li-san. You didn't offend me."

"I made a fool of myself. And as part of my apology, I would like to invite you to my house for lunch tomorrow. Is that okay with you? Unless of course, you have other engagements…"

"No, no. I've got nothing planned. Lunch would be fine. At what time would you like me to arrive there?"

"I'll pick you up from your hotel."

"A-are you sure?" after what had happened tonight, he's still willing to spend time with me? The Gods must be on my side tonight!

"Yes, I'm sure. I'll be there at around 11 o'clock."

"Fine by me."

"Okay." I heard him sigh—out of relief, I don't know. "See you tomorrow."

I allowed myself a light smile. "Yeah, see you."

As I replaced the receiver, I couldn't help but feel giddy. It wasn't much, but it was a start. He doesn't have to take me back, but if we become friends, that's better than having nothing at all. I fell asleep with visions of me and Syaoran spending time together and being happy.

The next day, I anticipated Syaoran's arrival. I was dressed and read at least two hours before our meeting time, so I decided to walk around the hotel. There were many shops in the lobby, so I would be entertained until I would have to meet up with Syaoran. Unfortunately, I didn't have a watch, and I couldn't find a clock nearby, so I had lost track of time. I was only made aware of the time when I saw a worried looking Syaraon walking towards me. When we finally reached each other, he extended his arm and pulled me tightly against him. "I was worried that something had happened to you. I didn't see you at the entrance, so I called up to your room, but no one was picking up." then, at that moment, he had just realized what he was doing. "Oh, sorry." he released me.

I was still too dazed by what had just occurred between us to respond. I guess it was still an instinct for him to hold me when he became worried that I was in danger—a habit that he still hadn't gotten rid of after two years…not that I minded or anything…

Once we were in the car, I began speaking. "Sorry for making you worry. I was ready early, so I decided to take a walk."

"I see. Don't worry about it. You're still in one piece."

He was back to sounding uncaring, I see. "Um…thank you for inviting me over for lunch, Li-san."

"It's no problem. I told you, it was part of my apology. Besides, my family wanted to meet you."

"Oh. I'd love to meet them too." I smiled.

He glanced at me and I could see a hint of a smile on his lips. "I must warn you, though, my sisters will be all over you."

"I'll be fine."

He chuckled. "Let's hope so."

Lunch was a fine affair. Syaoran's sisters hadn't hung all over me as he had predicted; but once Syaoran had directed a pointed glance at his mother, I immediately knew why. She held a powerful presence. Any person would be intimidated by close contact with her, and therefore, every person in the room was silent once she had entered. I saw her tilt her head at Syaoran as a greeting, but most of her attention was focused on me. She headed in my direction. "I am Li Yelan, Xiao-Lang's mother," she had introduced herself when she halted right in front of me.

"Pleased to meet you, my Lady. I am Hiiragizawa-," I replied but was interrupted by her.

"Eriol. Yes, I know about you. It is a pleasure having the reincarnation of Clow Reed present in the house of Li."

I was surprised by her knowledge of me, but I remembered that Syaoran had originally stayed in Japan to keep Sakura safe from _me_, while she had to transform all the Clow Cards into Sakura Cards. I gave her a slight nod to acknowledge her praise towards me. After a moment of silence, she invited me to join her.

I followed her out to the garden. There, she explained her reason for inviting me. "I am quite aware of your involvement with my son," she told me sternly.

My cheeks grew warm. "Involvement? Xiao—Li-san and I are no longer _involved_."

Her lips were a thin line. "But neither of you wish that _that_ was the case, am I correct?" at my lack of reply, she continued: "When Xiao-Lang had returned two years ago, every night, I would hear him crying before he fell asleep. I had first thought that it was his vigorous training that was causing his discomfort; until one night, I heard him scream out your name. It was then that I had chosen to read his thoughts. It wasn't very difficult, since he was very distracted and didn't guard his emotions properly." she paused and took a deep breath. "And then, that's when I saw it, your final day together. You hurt him quite a bit, didn't you?"

I swallowed hard and nodded mutely. She didn't say anything to me, she just observed. I began to feel uneasy—it was rare for me to feel uneasy…only Syaoran was capable of making me feel that way. "I never wanted to do that…" I whispered, my eyes directed to the ground.

"I know. You wouldn't be here right now if he had really meant nothing to you, right?" I looked up at her, but said nothing. She carried on: "What I'd like to know is…why you had said the things you did. That day, two years ago, it's still affecting my son. I'm sure having you here today brings him great confusion. You had made it clear that day that you wanted nothing to do with him—that he meant nothing to you."

"It was his duty to come back here and assume his role as the head of the Li Clan. If I was in the picture, I would've only held him back. He would never have fulfilled his duties and it would've been all because of me. I didn't want that for him."

"He could've been the leader _and_ your lover," she stated matter-of-factly.

At this, I couldn't stop myself from blushing. I _had_ thought about that too, I'm sure she knew that. But I guess this was her way of finding out vital information without asking me directly. "I'd thought about that too, my Lady. But I had assumed that when he took the role of the leader, he would have to marry and produce an heir to continue the line…I didn't want to take that opportunity away from him." I really didn't want to confess any of this to anyone—especially to someone I barely even knew! But I couldn't really lie to Syaoran's mother. She probably knew many things about this situation anyway; she just wanted me to confirm it.

"Clow Reed would've been able to figure out a way to produce an heir without the need for a _female _companion; I'm sure his reincarnation would've been able to do the same." she raised a perfectly arched eyebrow.

I was speechless. What _could_ I say? That was one thing I never thought of. I looked up at the elegant woman. She had a light smile on her face. I had a feeling that she already figured out that _that_ alternative had never entered my mind. "My Lady…" I trailed off.

Her voice was light and motherly as she said: "Hiiragizawa-sama-,"

"Please, call me _Eriol_."

"Very well. Eriol-sama, I'm sure you also had reservations about acceptance, but let me tell you now: it would've been a pleasure for the Li Clan to have the reincarnation of our ancestor as part of the family."

"Thank you, my Lady." I sighed. "But I'm afraid that whatever you say now will not change a thing between me and your son. He wants nothing to do with me now—not after everything I've put him through."

"Xiao-Lang is an intelligent boy. He would understand your reasons if you make it clear to him."

She left me with those words. I decided to stay out in the garden for a while longer; I wanted to think about what we had discussed. Lady Yelan had said that Syaoran would understand…but last night, we almost broke out into an argument over _that day_. He didn't want me to tell him that everything I had said to him two years ago had all been a lie. I didn't want to cause him anymore pain. If I told him the truth now, he would resent me even more. I've cause him enough pain.

Just then, I felt a familiar aura join me out in the garden. "What's troubling you, Eriol?"

I turned around and looked straight into Syaoran's amber eyes. "Since when did we return to first name basis?"

"Since now. Deal with it," he told me forcefully. He strolled closer to me and stopped just an arm's length away. "I hope my mother didn't intimidate you…" he sounded unsure of himself.

I gave him a small smile. "No, no, don't trouble yourself about it. She just wanted to straighten something out with me."

"Oh. Anyway…why did you come to Hong Kong?"

"I already told you…I wanted to see you and talk to you."

"Why did you want to see me? I thought that when you told me to leave that day, you never wanted to see me again…"

"That's not true!" I screamed out, but then, regained my composure once more. This was it. It was now or never. I might never be given this chance again; I don't really want to hurt him, but I can't lie to him anymore. He can hate me afterwards; it wouldn't matter to me anymore. I just want him to know how much I love him and that I almost died the day I let him go. I took a deep breath and began my tirade: "Li-san-,"

"Call me _Xiao-Lang_. I like how my name sounds on your lips."

My cheeks coloured slightly. What force of nature caused Syaoran to become so blunt about his emotions to someone he resented so much? Despite this distraction, though, I went on with my explanation. "Xiao-Lang, I'm not expecting anything from you after this—except for the deep hatred that you might feel towards me, but I just wanted to let you know that everything was a lie." I saw him frown; he was becoming irritated as he remembered everything I had said to him that day. I hurried on. "I never meant a word I had said the day I told you to return here, to Hong Kong."

"Hiiragizawa…" he was back to calling me by my last name. I knew that he would soon kick me out of his home and tell me that he never wanted to see me again. I could hear the dangerous tone edged in his voice.

"Don't be angry with me. You brought it up by asking me why I had come here. I just wanted to let you know that I _did_ love you. I _always_ have. You mean the world to me, Xiao-Lang, and I never wanted to lose you. A part of me died the moment you walked out my door and left Japan."

I saw him lift up his arms. This is it; he was going to strike me. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the blow—but it never came. I felt Syaoran's grip my shoulders as he pulled me towards him. He wrapped his arms around my neck and held me tightly. "I _missed _you," he whispered fiercely. "You have no idea how many times I'd imagined you coming here and taking me into your arms, telling me that everything wasn't true; I wanted to see you and hear you say that you were being stupid. But as days flew by, I lost hope in that ever happening."

I felt tears form in my eyes. "I'm sorry I was so stupid…" I held him as tightly as he held me. My arms were around his waist, and everything felt right. I'd never felt more content in my life.

I slowly opened my eyes. The sunlight was peeking through the curtains in my hotel room. -WAIT! Hotel room? When did I get here. The events from the day before flashed in my head as if it was a movie in fast forward. Syaoran picked me up, we all ate lunch at his place, his mother talked to me, then…Syaoran and I confessing to each other. Just as I was about to get up, I was made aware of a warm body lying next to me. _Who the…!_ I knew that this room was booked for me and me alone. I turned my head and found messy mahogany hair splashed all over the pillows. I sighed and smiled in recognition.

Yesterday, Syaoran's sisters had found the two of us in the garden, clinging onto each other. After much _cooing_, they had suggested that Syaoran take me to the areas of Hong Kong he had neglected to show me the day before. The boy—man—_whatever_, had readily agreed. He led me to his car, but we had avoided the topic of the events in the garden. Once again, we had spent the rest of the day together. When evening fell, he drove me back to my hotel. I had invited him to my room for some tea; he was quite hesitant to accept my offer, but he came, nevertheless. We talked about trivial things as we drank our tea—nothing about what had happened earlier in the day. After that, everything became fuzzy. I'm assuming that it became too late for him to leave—and that he was tired—so he decided to stay the night.

Suddenly, visions of that moment flew into my mind's eye. "It's late," Syaoran had said quietly.

I nodded. "Yes, it is."

"I think I should go. You need your rest." he stood up, but I saw him stumble. He was tired, he wouldn't be able to make it home in one piece if he drove in his current condition.

Immediately, I was by his side, ready to catch him if he fell. "You're tired, Xiao-Lang. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be driving home like this. You might get into an accident. You should stay the night."

His head snapped towards me; then he glanced around my room. "There's only one bed, Hiiragizawa."

"That's fine. I could sleep on the floor, or one of the couches here. You could have the bed."

"No. That's stupid. This is your hotel room; you have the rights to the bed."

"And you're my guest. Just take the bed, it's_ fine_." and I made my point clear by stirring him towards the bed and pushing him down. He struggled, but I gave him a look that said that_ this_ was the final decision. He settled down dejectedly as I headed to my suitcases to take out my pajamas; I thought for a moment, then decided to take an extra one, incase Syaoran didn't want to sleep in his current clothes. I handed him my extra pajamas and said: "You can wear this for the night. I doubt you'd be comfortable sleeping in_ those_." I motioned towards his collared, forest green, button down shirt and black slacks. I saw him glance down, then he looked back up at me and nodded in agreement. "Okay, I'll be in the bathroom, changing. You can change in here," I told him.

"Okay. And, Eriol…thank you," he said timidly.

I gave him a bright smile before I went into the bathroom. "It's no problem at all."

When I re-entered my room, Syaoran was sitting on the edge of the bed. He was staring at the entrance to the bathroom thoughtfully. I'm guessing, he probably wanted to brush his teeth before he went to bed. "I have an extra toothbrush," I told him while I rummaged through my suitcase. "I can give it to you to use for the night."

"Thank you," he responded distractedly.

I next saw him disappearing through the bathroom doorway. When he emerged again, I was busy preparing my "bed" for the night (I decided to sleep on the couch). Suddenly, I felt a hand on my wrist; of course, it was Syaoran's hand. "Something the matter?" I turned my head and asked him.

He shook his head. "No…it's just that…I…" he trailed off.

"Oh…okay. Well, I'm sleeping on the couch for tonight, right? It's fine, I'll manage. Good ni—," Syaoran silenced me with a wave of his hand.

"This is stupid. You should just sleep on the bed. It's _your_ room!"

"It's okay. You can have the bed…" I whispered.

But apparently, Syaoran wasn't willing to drop this subject. "No! You're going to sleep on the bed!" and he made his point clear by picking up my pillows and blanket and bringing them towards the bed.

"Then…where are _you_ going to sleep?"

"It's…it's a big bed. I thought…that we could…um…sleep beside each other." I stared at him, so he added quickly. "Unless of course, sleeping beside me _was_ the problem for you."

I shook myself out of my reverie. Even after what had happened in his garden, he was still unsure about how to act around me. I don't blame him though; that _was_ quite a lot to absorb in one day. "No, no, it's fine. I'll sleep on the bed with you…if that's what you really want…" I was finally able to get out.

He neatly arranged the pillows that I was going to use, then motioned for me to get on the bed. We slipped under the blankets at the same time, but I made sure not to touch him. He's still uncomfortable, so I needed to give him space. He mumbled a 'good night', then was soon asleep; but I was still far from finding solitude. The whole day kept running through my head, until finally, those thoughts began to exhaust me. I glanced at Syaoran; he was slumbering so peacefully. I scooted closer to him, and whispered: "Good night. I love you." I bent my head, hesitated for a minute, then placed my lips on his cheek. I knew it was unfair to kiss him when he was unaware, but this may be the only chance I get…it may be the only and _final_ chance.

A quiet 'good morning' brought me back to reality. I looked down at Syaoran; he had a small smile on his face. "How did you sleep?" I inquired.

He was pensive for a moment, then replied, "It was good. I haven't slept this peacefully since…you know…"

Something caught in my throat. I knew what he was referring to. "Oh…I'm sor—," Syaoran held up his hand to silence me.

"Don't. It's fine," he told me.

I sat up on the bed. "I think we need to talk…" I said after a long pause.

"About what?" he responded gruffly as he sat up to face me.

"You know what: _us_."

"What about '_us_'? There isn't an '_us_' anymore, remember?" he was irritated.

"If that's the way you want it…"

"That's not the way I want it! _You _chose for things to be this way! In case you've forgotten, you were the one who broke up with me!"

Okay, I must admit, it's not a really good thing to start off the morning by having an argument…but we have to get things out on the table—and it was now or never. "I never wanted to! I thought I didn't have a choice…"

"What choice was there to make? If you loved me, you would've stayed with me and we would've found a way to solve the problem together; if you didn't care—well…you know."

"I already told you yesterday that I _did_ love you—I still do!"

"Then why did you let me go? And better yet, why did you wait two years to come back to me? What if I had found someone else?"

"If you had found someone else, that was fine—I never actually expected you to be single right now…but anyway, despite that, I still would've came to clear things with for you."

"Oh, so even if I already had a fiancée, you still would've came and dropped the bomb about you really loving me! That's really fair, Hiiragizawa…and what did you expect to happen after that?"

"Nothing! If you _did_ have someone else, I would've just come to clear things out and ask for your friendship in return."

He released an impatient sigh. "And if I didn't have anyone? What did you plan to do?"

"I don't know. I've thought about that…but I never expected it to be true. The bottom line was: whether or not you were engaged, I still wanted to confess the truth to you. What happened next was completely up to you."

He was silent for a moment, then: "Why did you do it, Eriol? Why did you say all those things to me that day?"

"Because I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of your family not accepting us. Of you not being able to fulfill your destiny whilst I was in the picture. Of you not gaining the life you were meant to have. I didn't want to be the cause of your misfortunes."

"And why did you think that you would be the cause of that?"

"I'm sure, as the leader of the Li Clan, you would have had to find a wife and produce an heir. That's something we wouldn't have been capable of doing if we were together. I didn't want you to disappoint your family."

"You know, Eriol, my mother was right…"

"Huh?"

"Clow Reed would've been able to figure out a way to solve that problem; so then, his reincarnation should've been able to do the same thing."

"How'd you—?"

"I heard you and my mother yesterday. —Not everything, though! Just the little bits in the end."

"You heard…and still…you started this whole argument…?"

"I wanted to hear the reasons straight from you. I _love_ you, Eriol! The reason that no one ever caught my interest was because none of them were _you_. I couldn't find anyone to take your place by my side." he then pulled me towards him and held me tight. I felt his lips on my cheeks. "That was payback from last night," he whispered mischievously.

"…what…you were still awake that time?"

He pulled away slightly, just so I'd have a clear view of his face. Syaoran grinned. "You think I could sleep?"

I smiled back. "Touché."

I pushed him back down on the bed and looked in his eyes. They were filled with love and admiration. I leaned my head down, preparing to take his lips in mine, but I stopped and hesitated. "Go ahead," he said softly and gave me a smile for encouragement. That was all that I needed; I closed the final gap between us. Syaoran's lips were so soft and smooth—I'd missed kissing him. His arms snaked around my waist; I felt butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't control myself, I deepened our kiss; Syaoran responded energetically. One of us moaned, but I didn't know who it was—besides, I was too busy to care.

When we finally pulled apart after what seemed like forever, Syaoran narrowed his eyes. "You're stupid, you know."

"Huh?" I was dumbfounded.

"You know that we belong together and yet, you waited two years to win me back."

I smiled, but I couldn't reply. I kissed his lips lightly, then pulled away. "Sakura-san was the one who convinced me to come."

"It took her this long to get you here? God, those girls used to be quicker…" he laughed.

"Not their fault. I was too scared to come. I kept thinking that you would've killed me as soon as you saw me darkening your doorway."

"Hm…true…but then, that didn't happen, did it?"

"No, I guess not."

"Well, anyway, the bottom line is: no matter how long it took you to get here, I would've still been waiting."

I looked down at him, joy evident in my eyes, and smiled widely. As I took him in for another lip-lock, the last coherent thoughts in my head were: _I'm finally back where I belong._

**END**


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